Update On Me

NO worries, folks. I am fine. I’ve just been busy. In fact, it doesn’t look as if I am going to be any less busy!

I was recently contacted by Carlos Casanova, legendary noisecore/hardcore frontman of Psycho Sin about teaming up to do his memoirs from his time in the 1980s punk underground. I have even offered to help him with his memoirs from his wrestling years as well.

I just released another book in the Alpha Triad/Deltalink International cycle and have been working on books 4 and 5 in The Morrow Family Saga in hopes that I can finally finish the first series and release all on a wider market. I want to finish series 1-4 before the end of the year, but maybe that is just wishful thinking.

I am also getting ready to release a film that I wrote the script and co-produced. I just finished with the posters to be used to advertise it. As soon as I receive the mp4 file, I will begin the process of making it available for those who want to stream it.

The production team that did this last film is getting ready to do another which I am involved in writing and co-producing as well. and we have at least a dozen more lined up behind that. So, until I can pause and continue the tale I began here….I will leave updates.

Life Is Filled With Good Intentions And Unrealized Plans.

I fully intended to have a new chapter for each of the stories I started done and up by now. Clearly, they are not. I barely got Chapter Eight of Whispers done between my first and second run of the day. I also barely got Chapter One of Ohio posted. I was going to have chapter Eight for Hand Me Down World and Do You Miss Me Darlin’? as well as chapter One for Once Around The Ride, Second Wind and Life Loves A Tragedy all up as well.

Damned if I didn’t have the rider from hell this last run. First, I had to honk for fifteen minutes then call my boss to find out that I was supposed to go to the ma’s front door to get his attention–all to take him where he needed to go. then, not more than twenty minutes after delivering him, I was called to pick him up only to find out that it was a misunderstanding. wasted time.

Most writers, if they aren’t procrastinators, hate to waste time. A client should be punctual, waiting for their ride, and clear about their instructions. If a routine is not clearly mapped out before handing the client over to a different driver, then those in charge need to take the flitting time to get a routing established. Don’t just pawn a client off on someone just so you don’t have the aggravation. That is a good way to lose your best help.

I had asked to not be loaded down with any other clients. I did not get my wish. Being volunteer, I do not get paid enough for the headaches I have to endure. Which, incidentally, is the reason I have been hunting for steady ghostwriting work…something that is difficult, at best, to secure. My first round was supposed to be permanent. Maybe I was just too darn good for them and left very little for their writer to do. Or, perhaps they didn’t like my style. I don’t know. I haven’t been contacted back for another assignment since I turned in the last one.

And the one I got contacted for this last time on Guru? Dead silence. The newest one? Well, that is a long story. Suffice it to say, a life-changing career is still on pause. Makes me wanna scream!

At the same time, I can’t figure out how the story Do You Miss Me Darlin’? is more popular than the first in its prequel series, Hand Me Down World. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Maybe it’s too dark and filled with terrible things. But PEOPLE! Those things actually took place! Yes, and in our recent history! Why are you so afraid of the past? Is it the fact that I have destroyed the “idyllic” myth that the 50s were an age of innocence? Or is it the fact that I dare to recall things that might actually look nearly identical as current events?

People, there is an old saying: The more things change, the more they stay the same. to put it another way, history repeats itself when those who repeat it have not learned from the lessons of the first time around. Yes, I tend to get a bit preachy at times, but that is not what the books are about. They are about growing up in the real world, not some Happy Days spinoff that never really showed the truth. Hell. Archie Bunker was closer to the truth than its fans wanted to admit. And still, people failed to see the lesson in it all.

Sad. But, again, as I said, there really isn’t any lesson, except accurate portrayal of history, in the first series. Love will enter the picture, but briefly. The first series, after all, is sort of an American tragedy. Like the series that Life Loves A Tragedy starts. In between there is love, romance, turmoil, and tragedy. All will be capped off with one final round of romance and lasting love which started in Long Cold Winter. I am portraying life in all its glory and all its shame on a backdrop of a huge chunk of American history, leaving off the blindfold to the events that fashioned the rebellious sixties and decadent seventies…followed by the burnout of the eighties. the rest builds up to the final series, Seasons.

The Travails Of Being Me…Part Two.

This morning, I received a call from my boss. He had an emergency come up, so needed me to take his run for him. I am fine with that. It gives me a little more when paychecks come out. And every little bit counts.

I don’t mind my job either. But it isn’t what I would consider something to make into a career. Being a cabby is fine. But the volunteer part is a killer. I get paid $0.40/mile. If you go two miles, that means you only get $o.80 that run. You only make money when you make the longer runs over 100 miles.

I do need something better to help me survive. Something that will keep me from worrying about how I am going to pay my college debt. Something that’ll help me quit worrying if I am going to have enough to eat. Something that will allow me to follow through on promises made.

But as I have mentioned before, I cannot return to the industries I have been trained to work in due to health hazard. A very real health hazard. If I want a reminder, all I have to do is go and take a look at my sister. She is dying from it.

She is 45 and looks like a 90 year-old. she cannot live without an oxygen bottle or an air machine. She was supposed to get a lung transplant, but has dropped out of line twice. Now, she has no more chances.

She is to the point where she has maybe 4 years, maybe 4 months. Not very good prospects. And not a place I want to go before it is my time. So what is a man to do who has fewer options and less work experience in some of the areas that are now the only things available?

Good question. I guess that is why I write. I guess that is why I want to act. Yes, and even why I sing. Because I want to make my mark. In some way.

It is why I want to build my own company. I do not want to waste the rest of my life working for others. Not as just another number in a long list of numbers. I want to help others rise above the crap.

I know. Never dream too big. Bull shit. Always dare to dream bigger than those who came before. Never settle for second best. Always fight for what you know is right. What you know will make you happy as a career.

Never mind the naysayers. They know nothing. Most of the time, they are living with the regret of having not made the choice to follow their dreams. When someone regrets not following their dreams, they often get the Let No One Else Have Their Dreams syndrome where they try their best to stomp all over everyone else’s aspirations.

I know this all too well. My father was good at doing it. He could have been a successful writer. Hell. His gun shop could have went international. I even offered to help him with it.

But I figured something out. He claimed to not want to “tighten his belt”. In other words, he was afraid of failure. But being afraid of failure means that you are also afraid of success. And that fear keeps you from doing anything that might make you a happier person.

I even told my mother that my father could have had a sit-down story-based routine. He had tons of excellent stories. He could have given Garrison Keillor a run for his money. But, He was afraid to follow his true talents.

My father died never knowing what it felt like to be happy. He had married out of a feeling of obligation. He worked his life away. He drove every nail into his own coffin by not caring about his own health enough to stop bad eating habits. And he destroyed his relationships with his family.

What has this all to do with me? I made myself a promise when I was in high school that I would never follow his example. I would not be afraid of success. I would not be afraid of failure. I would not work my life away. I would not destroy my relationships. Least of all those with my future children and wife.

I can happily say that I did not destroy either of my marriages. I still have two step-children who are close to me. One was never really close to anyone, so I didn’t really ruin anything with her. The cheating of both exes destroyed both marriages. By the time my first wife checked out of reality, she had already left me mentally. She had cheated on me with my then best friend, who-ironically-was also married. And even though both claimed that they had stopped, they were both lying. Same with the second…although the jury’s still out as to whether she has ever been aware of reality.

Days Off…

It’s amazing. I have reviewed many books and all my reviews have helped others buy those books. So if they trust me to write reviews, why don’t they investigate my books? I am mystified.

I am not sure where I have gone wrong. I write. That is my life. I do not pigeonhole myself or get cornered into writing a single genre. My heroes didn’t, why should I?

I know. I should be different. But I AM different. I may pattern my career after my heroes, but I am not exactly as they are. I am not writing my own “Martian Chronicles”, “Tarzan”, “Conan Saga”, Or “Dennis Dougan” stories. Instead, I have veered off into Deep Space and begun sagas of my own. “Rivers Of Blood”, “Strange Journeys”, and “”Saints & Sinners” just to name a few.

Ok, so I have gotten off topic. I was going to talk about days off, which do me no good at all. I am no work-a-holic by any stretch of the imagination, but the lack of a day of work does make a dent in the ol’ paycheck. But so does no sales where my books are concerned.

Things are getting a little thin here in my corner of the world. Work is not that easy to find. Sure, I may be a little picky. But I cannot afford short term work for long term bills. 90 days is not enough time to build anything. Neither is the spotty, inconsistent record of a temp service. A day here and a day there solves nothing for me either.

Job security does not exist in my corner of the world anymore. Neither does full time work. All you can get is temporary work. Or what I am doing right now, which is almost as bad…seeing how I am making less than minimum wage as a volunteer.