Dreams, Part 3

I have always been plagued by dreams. Not the dreams that everyone else has, but the type that tell something, that warn about something.  At eight, I had a particularly nasty one of a blood red murderous Santa figure. He was killing innocent people, good people. While I reserve what I have come to understand about this particular dream for myself, I will tell you I now understand it without mistake. The same where the bodiless goat head is concerned.

I am slowly growing aware of the meanings of all my dreams. I am swiftly learning how to decipher them. What I am learning is alarming me. Things I thought were only possibilities are now realities.

As I have stated before, my more recent dreams have health with those around me. At first, they dealt with Kelly. Now, they deal with me. Back then, they dealt with society in general. Or religion in general.

All I know is Now, I want no more. But I guess it isn’t up to me what I am shown or what I have seen. It is, however, up to me to finish what has been started before it is too late.


I Had A Sudden Thought….

If evolution is how things happened, then mankind must be an evolutionary dead end and Mother Nature is just waiting for us to wipe ourselves out before trying a new avenue of higher being. Also, If we did evolve from something, I am beginning to believe it was not from apes, as popularly believed, but from pigs. Just look at how we treat one another. At least the great apes and most primates have a social structure that takes care of their own within the group, men and swine do not. they are all about the individual and seem to have the same manners.

The Beast You Seek

His mark is not physical
No number is truly definitive
Of his claim
Yet all seek to see
What has no
Physical manifestation.

His mark upon the head
Is hate
Is greed
Is love of self
Is craving a god
Whose physical form
Is many.

His mark upon the hand
Is stains of blood
Sins of the flesh
Sins of the heart
Worked with the right hand
In the name of a God
Man has forgotten.

For the god that is craved
Is Legion
And it has no single form.
Yes, it is a pantheon
Of many desires
and many dooms.

The god can be as simple as
Laws from ages past
Whose hold is no longer of concern
For those who truly believe
For those laws are no longer
Something akin to an onus
But are a part of being compassionate human beings
Forever seeking to refrain from harming others.

The god can be guns
Weapons of death
Of pain
Of a false defense
Whose cold embrace only deepens the gulf
Between man and his neighbor.

The god can be riches and fame
Those harsh dual masters
Who rule the heart with coldness
Leaving their worshiper just as empty
As the day they began their worship.

The god can be an outward show
Of moral uprightness
That hides the truth beneath a whitewashed sheet
Of lies and illusion
That fools the wearer into believing
That they no longer have to work upon their own heart.

The god can be rites and rituals
That have lost their true meaning
Over the millennia
While Man replaced all meaning
With selfish motives.

The god can be one’s fear
causing them to strike out
At those they do not understand
Waging little wars
In feigned self-defense
All the while
Still bowing to the Beast.

The god can be a juxtaposition
Of self over an entity that
Has no real definitive form
Shape, color, creed, or gender
But is both above us
And so far beyond us
That we could never begin
To understand its true nature
Because we have lost our way
And forgotten about the true world
That world that lies beneath this physical realm.

Indeed, that god can be anything that has taken the place of
The one true deity
Whether it be one’s irrational hate, born of ignorance and fear
One’s insatiable greed
One’s jealousy
One’s envy
Or whatever may fill one’s heart or head.

These gods
The marks of the Beast
Are what marks the head, heart and right hands
Of those who serve the beast.
It is not a mere sequence of numbers,
It is the deeds and thoughts
Yes, the very things
Those who bow to him
Worship as they also worship him.

And the beast?
Who is he?
He is one who comes
Pretending to be coming
In the service of Christ
But has spread this ministry
Of hate, greed, intolerance, and fear.

And yet,
The people do not see him for what he is.
They applaud his message
They carry his signs
They listen to his speeches
They bow to his desires.

All the while,
They preach to watch
“Watch for the coming of the Lord”
They say.
And yet,
They watch not
Because, to them,
Their savior has already arrived.

“Beware the beast”
They cry
And yet they have had a hand
In building the perfect beast
As they search for a beast with numbers
On his head and hands
Even though they bear his marks upon their own.

For it is well known
That the beast you seek
Is always right under your nose
And has remained hidden
In plain sight
Feeding off your hate
Your greed
Your envy
Your bitterness
And your obsessions.

The Illusion Has Lifted

When will we waken from this dream state
Those in power cast upon us?
When will we brush away
This illusion those in control
Weave in order to keep us at Bay?

When will we dispel these myths
That are used to hide the truth
From us and keep us obedient?
When will we let go of these lies
We have been told?

When are we going to see
That there are no parties
Only differing degrees of corruption
with different names
Which control those
We put into power over us?

When are we going to understand
That our representation
Has been bought out from under us
So that they serve only a handful
And no longer serve the masses?

When will we see just how
We have been stripped of our titles
As citizens
By those who have enough money
To bring back legalized slavery?

When will we take the blinders off
And realize that most of our illnesses
Were created in order to medicate us
Just enough so we would stop questioning
The legality Of what those in power
Are doing?

When will we notice that our ‘inalienable right’
Are slowly being stripped from us
By those who are not individuals
When being prosecuted
And yet are individuals
When desiring laws that give them more freedom
To do more to betray the people?

And when are we going to open our eyes
To the fact that we have allowed
ourselves to become pawns
In a shameful attempt
To profit from the misery
And suffering of billions
And the deaths of our youth?

When will we start listening
To the words of the wise
Who came before
“Where have all the flowers gone?
They have been picked by the young ladies
Who’re putting them on the graves
Of all the young men”
We have allowed our overlords to send
To wars waged in the name of their god
That awful god called greed.

Wake up!
The illusion has lifted
and cracks are beginning to appear
In the false front
That has kept us blind.
Now is the time
To say enough is enough!
We are taking back control!
This is our world, not yours!
You are not people! Your are corporations
Based on corruption and greed!
Your Illusion has lifted
And we can finally see
What a mess you have made of our world!

a little something else…

I have told you, the reader, that I was raised in a cult. From 1982-1993, I went to church under the “Biblical” model they used. Between 1990 and 1993, the original president (they called him an apostle and expected him to live forever) began to see that changes needed to be made and appointed as his successor a man who would see to the beginning of those changes. I watched as the early changes began to tear the cult apart. I even applauded (and still do) many of the changes.

From dogma and doctrine, to songs used as praise, the changes swept through every aspect of what was being taught and what was believed. We went from being a cult to being just another church that met on Sunday. We went from observing the “Holy Days” to celebrating the average holidays. We went from believing that we were the elect to realizing that we were just another branch of the same vine.

These changes caused many to leave on a worldwide scale. And, yes, we were actually a worldwide cult with branches in every country. Even in the Middle East. Our leaders had met nearly every world leader from Anwar Sadat and King Husein to Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan. Over time,though, this notoriety grew too heavy as did the unbending dogma.

While I agree with the direction the church has taken, I have outgrown that part of my life. I am too far ahead to remain defined by a building, a temple, or an organization. While they were changing, so was my understanding of what was contained in all “Holy” books. I began to understand that there was no wrong path forward. There was only forward and backward. Forward meant growing in compassion for my fellow humans. Backward meant to diminish in compassion and grow in hate and evil.

No, I didn’t come to this milestone all at once. Like any growth, it happened over time. Slowly, I began to see the cracks that were still evident in the facade of religion. I realized that, no matter what I learned on my own, religion-by nature-would still be about what was outside a person, not what was within. What I was discovering was the fact that faith and spirituality are neither one driven by what one can see, but what one learns and grows inside. In other words, they rely on the unseen. It did not rely on what we preach, what we do physically, how many souls we could save in Jesus’ name, nor how much we owned or did not own. It simply relied on what we learned and put into practice. It relied on leaving behind all the precepts and concepts we had been taught and forging forward on our own in search of the truth.

It has taught me that wisdom is born from knowledge put into practice, not knowledge preached to others. We only grow through experiencing changes within ourselves. And the “Holy” books? they are only words, in the end. Physical words that can be interpreted to serve whatever selfish desire we wish it to serve. And God? God is whatever we make of him and however we choose to explain him. For many, he is hateful, vengeful, and angry. To others, he is the spiritual equivalent of a human being…flaws and all. They see angels as men with wings. In other words, they see what they want to see. What is easiest for them to see.

They see the spiritual world is a rumor. A myth. Or, worse yet, heaven or hell. It is neither. Nor is it under us. It is all around us.

Yes, what our pagan ancestors believed is true. The spirit realm is everywhere, as are the dead, God, and Christ…not to mention whatever other beings we have yet to be guided by and those that guided us before God. yes, I know. This is heretical talk coming from one raised to be “Christian”, but I have come to realize that the reason all those voices no longer speak to us is because we stopped being close to that realm.

No, I am not talking about prayer. I am talking about our inability to acknowledge that we are surrounded by beings we cannot see, feel or hear except in the case that we are receptive to them. In my case, I have dealt with them all my life, but have been afraid to acknowledge this due to my upbringing and the fear of being accused of being “Possessed”.

But now that I am an adult, free of the judging of a system, I can freely admit to what I know to be true. Just as I know that we must shed all that we have been taught in order to truly learn the truth and be able to accept and utilize it. We must let go of all we have been taught in order to gain true wisdom. And so I have. I have embraced what I have found. I have begun to peer inward, to the spirit rather than outward to what I dislike in others. And it has been very rewarding.

In This I Have Regained My Soul

I have lost my religion
but gained my faith;
I have rejected this physical life
For something greater.

I do not need rites
I do not need rituals
I do not need failed laws
Or statutes
To tell me that I
Have succeeded in being
The best I can be.

I do not need to wave a book
At those who do not believe
Or who do not live
Up to my standards.

I do not have time to “save”
Those I see as lost
Because we are all lost
We are all right
We are all wrong.

I do not need to feel
Morally superior
Racially superior
sexually superior
religiously superior.

I do not have the time.
I do not need to fight wars
To prove I am right
I do not need to judge
I do not need to condemn
To feel I have done
What is expected of me.

In fact, My faith leads me
To focus upon my own soul
My own faults
My own weaknesses
My own destination.

I know that true enlightenment
Comes not from the physical
True salvation comes not
From “saving” others
But both come from realization
That the self is where
Change truly starts.

Only through realizing
That we cannot save anyone
Not even ourselves,
From damnation
From immortal judgment.

Missionaries try to do
What only the Source of Life
Can do
Not realizing that they
Are playing “god”.

Ministers try to do the same
Hording their monies
From selling indulgences
To the poor
While judging them unfit
And hating all
Who differ from them
In color, sexual preference
Or belief
Leading the masses astray
And damning us all.

And for what?
A physical resurgence
In a religion
That not one of them
Truly believe in.

There is no “Christ”
In their actions
Just as there is no Mohammed
In the actions of those
Spreading their hate
throughout the Middle East
And there is no Yaweh
In the actions of the Israelis
Waging war on the Palestians.

For war, greed, hate, and selfish desires
Are so far away from the messages left
By the messengers
They claim to follow.

They seem to forget the words:
Those who live by the sword
Will die by the sword.
“A man who claims to love the Lord
But hates his brother
Is a liar
For how can you love God,
Whom you have not seen
Yet hate your brother whom you have?”

But I have not.
I have lost my religion
But gained my faith.
In this, I have regained my soul.

A deep thought….

Though I wear a Jewish German name, I am not German.
I am not a Jew.
I am not white.
I am not black.
I am brown.
yet, I am not a color.
I am human.

I am not defined
By what color I am
What I eat
What I believe
What political affiliation I side with
Or what gender I prefer.

I am, simply put,
I am a part of nature
I am just a soul
Stuck in a body
Who must learn lessons
Before the cycle of death
And rebirth ends.

To put it a bit clearer,
I am one with nature
And nature is one with me
As I walk this path
On the way to enlightenment
And true rest in peace.