For those of you who have been following my travails at trying to end this deafening silence I live with every day, perhaps I need to relearn how to do the social thing. I knew the minute I asked that it did not sound quite right. I will not go into what I asked, even though it was harmless. I will say that I think it was just the tone.
I am shy around women anyway. I get all nervous and I go to ask the right thing and…I automatically stick my foot in my mouth. suffice it to say that I embarrassed myself today. I was trying to ask a lady if she was interested in me, and the wrong thing came out. No, I was not rude. I was not crude. I am always polite.
I am a politely awkward man. Even in shyness I am polite. I can stumble all over myself and make people laugh at me, and still remain polite. But that is me. Polite even in embarrassment.
So I did not get the girl this time. I am not as assertive and self-assured as others are. Granted, I am harmless but when your tongue tends to bypass the brain and blurt things out, you tend to find yourself wondering what you could do different to fix your nerves or your social skills.
Add to this the fact that I have not dated for at least six years and you can see that I am not “up” on the current etiquette in dating. Besides. I do not know a lot of women in my area. Hell. I don’t know if there are any who are even interested in what I am.
I am not reclusive by nature, but this morning was enough to make me want to find the biggest rock to crawl under and hide. It did not go at all well. And it sure did not go how I planned (I had planned to ask other easier, less abrupt questions to lead up to the one that came tumbling out, but like I said my tongue overruled my brain.). No, I did not get suggestive or anything of that nature. I am too polite for that. Too nice.
Oh, well. Back to the drawing board. Maybe I will figure this all out. Who knows?