So I have been playing in a pasture again. No, I wasn’t chasing cows. Those were moved to another farm last week, although the calves are all still there. And that is where the cow shit of the title comes into play.
It is quite amazing how many calf patties (mini cow patties) tend to end up in someone’s path in the matter of seconds. And that is why I smell like a cow pasture. Of course, I need to explain why I was in the pasture, don’t I?
Mom, being the person she is, called me last night and asked if I could help her haul some more fire wood from the pasture. Of course, she also promised to have me home before 3. But that didn’t happen.
And that is where the sore muscles come in. For those of you who have never run a chainsaw, it is a very taxing occupation. It makes you ache in places you wouldn’t dream you could ache. And so, I hurt all over now.
Not only did I cut and help collect the fire wood, I also ended up splitting some of it. And that is where the Headache comes in. I suffer from migraines. Most are triggered by stress, but some are triggered by loud noise. (this is why I do not go into casinos.) And so, between the chainsaw and the log splitter, I had the beginning of a migraine. And my ears are still whistling and ringing.
Now we come to Democrat bugs. Their other name is Box Elder bugs. I am not sure of their genus or species, all I know is that they are three things:
1) annoying as all get out.
2) harder to kill than a cockroach. I am not sure that there is any type of bug spray that will kill them. I have seen them survive Black Flag, Wasp spray, roach spray, and every other specialized and non-specialized bug spray known to man. you can even step on them, swat them, run over them with a car, and try anything else to kill them and they will live through it all. If we happen to become extinct because of some nuclear war, there are two species of bugs bound to remain alive after us…cockroaches and Box Elder/Democrat bugs.
3) They infest more things than the cockroach. You can walk into a roach-free house and probably see at least three Box Elder bugs crawling around.
Anyway, the reason I have come to mention this infernal nuisance is the fact that I was just sitting here looking through my email and lo-n-behold, there, walking across my chest is a Box Elder bug. Now, even though I have taken care of the nuisance, I still feel as if I have a bug crawling on me.